Secular organizations have long heeded the problems of violence and abuse in the home.  For years these organizations have tried many avenues to raise awareness of domestic violence against women.  It is time the Church recognizes its call to open the avenue for true change by offering help rather than denial that the problem exists.  In “Do You See This Woman,” Sherrell expresses the need for “domestic violence and abuse cases to be addressed directly from the pulpit rather than left to secular initiatives or opinionated Church counsel.”  She goes on to say, “As the believers openly respond with tender care to their own who are victims, those who are hurting outside the Church will know there is truly a place of acceptance and healing at the feet of Jesus and among His people.”

Domestic violence and abuse does not go away when it is ignored.  In truth ignorance silently condones it and allows the abuse to escalate.  Zero tolerance for abusive behavior can and should be a recognized standard, promoting the Church as well as secular organizations as safe places for those who  need support.  Support groups can allow and validate the need to be heard by listening and by efectively serving women who so often find they have no voice.  An important focus of the ministry of Jesus was His way of elevating women just as he did the men who were His followers.  He made no distinction among those who sat at His feet, giving women an equal opportunity to learn from Him.

Sherrell reveals five basic misunderstandings held by the Church regarding domestic violence and abuse:

1. Separation and/or divorce are not an option. Yes, God hates divorce but more accurately, He hates the violence that leads to a divorce. See Malachi 2:16 Asking the wife to forgive her abuser is certainly a godly action; asking her to continue to live with him may lead to further abuse and could even be fatal.
2. There is no believability if the abuser is carrying out all he should within the church body or in the public. An abuser may look and act like a wonderful person while behind closed doors he or she is scheming to gain power and control over a spouse or other victim.
3. No visible evidence of being hit. Assault is usually made to the parts of the body that no one sees. Children are “safe” witnesses for the batterer because the child is afraid to tell anyone for fear of further assault on himself or the victim.
4. We do not make a practice of getting involved because we are not sure of the truth. Determined involvement is essential to get to the truth and to begin the long road to accountability for the abuser. Effective involvement seeks lasting solutions.
5. Violence against women is a woman’s issue. There can be no issue in which a person is hurt by another person that is one-sided. Please note that when involved in counseling an abuse victim, do not do so with the alleged perpetrator present.

Interesting fact: Because children are often witnesses to abuse, Youth Pastors and School Counselors are often the first to know of abuse.

What We can Do as Church Leaders?

Be Aware.  Domestic violence can go unnoticed for a long period of time unless there are signs observed and carefully investigated.  Often, signs go undetected until there is a mental breakdown or death.

ul style=”12″] [li]Excessive depression, unusual body marks, high number of hospitalizations for unrelated injuries or illnesses.  Remember, this has to be done with much care to keep the victim from being hurt by the perpetrator if she is questioned. [/li] [li]Fear, anxiety, or nervousness unrelated to a particular incident also needs further investigation.  A victim may show signs of discomfort in the presence of others for no apparent reason. [/li] [li]Excessive layers of clothing are sometimes worn to insulate from abuse or to hide injuries. [/li] [li]Sometimes the victim will become withdrawn, isolated, or lose interest in things that previously meant something to them. [/li] [li]Even in the face of domestic violence, women find it difficult to leave.  There are many reasons for this including the need for financial support, shelter, or it may just be a matter of fear and intimidation. [/li] [/ul]

“Battered and bruised, hundreds of thousands of women quietly fill houses of worship around the world, keeping silent about the secret that rules their lives: they are victims of domestic violence and abuse.”  – Winnie Bartel, The United States Helsinki Commission